Lester's Top Ten Turn-Offs!

I've been using Craigslist for a number of years now, and I've had more than my share of disappointments whilst hunting for boot-related fun.

Usually it takes one response to turn me off while thanking my lucky stars for the anonymous nature of the internet.

So, without further ado, I present my:

Top Ten Turn Offs

10

"I don't have boots."

Get the fuck away from me.

9

"I weigh 135 lbs."

So does my cat.

8

"I have Ugg boots."

Are you sure you're a man?

7

"I don't know what kind they are."

Translation: You can't read AND you have no taste in boots.

6

"Meet me on the corner and I'll show you where I live."

Translation: Scary Fucking Neighborhood

5

"I don't have any boots, but you could buy me some."

NEXT!.

4

"I need money for my baby/baby mama, etc."

No, just no.

3

"I need money for weed."

Great, this tells me that even if we met, you'd be passed out in the corner soon after.  Pass.

2

"You're a man?  Oh, if you were a woman I'd do it."

I hate you so much right now.

1

"Give me your name, number and address."

Calm down, serial killer.

Bonus Turn Off
"I need you to sign a waiver."
Boy do you know how to have a good time!